The chaos that is springtime for people like me!

Someone once said that life is what happens while we’re making plans. That pretty much describes gardening for me. Every year, I’ve got all these great plans which somehow don’t ever seem to quite work out. Even my carefully contrived maps showing the exact locations of each vegetable has managed to disappear off the table where I placed it last January. (Rather than make a new one up, I’ve succumbed to the practice of planting ‘on the run’ as it were). I’ve fallen back to relying on ‘divine providence’ to see me through. (The problem is I never realized that in the world of providence, there’s both general providence and special providence. Turns out, the one I needed was special providence and what I got was general). Darn the luck!

So, what was planned to be a geometric display of romaine, peppers, beans and carrots has turned out to be more of a hodge-podge of green things sticking out of dirty brown soil. I’m beginning to doubt that my garden will ever grace the cover of any of the national gardening magazines. (I might make it in the next issue of National Dump Sites, however).

This brings me to my latest theory which I will call the ‘Chaotic Theory of Gardening’. It contains three principles which I will divulge herewith:

1)      All gardens tend to go from a state of disorder to a state of more disorder over time.

2)      The amount of energy and money you dump into a garden is inversely proportional to the amount of actual harvest realized.

3)      Once a garden begins to head in the direction of weediness, it will continue in that direction no matter what you do to stop it.

That pretty much sums up the theory which I dare anyone out there to contradict. Having said that, it’s time for me to get back out there and hoe hoe hoe.